I'm home!

This morning I was getting ready for work and decided to wear some of my MAC Lacquer in Fanplastico. It's a lovely shade of 'take my clothes off and violate me' red. I needed a pick me up today and boy did it ever work. I can't tell you how many construction workers waved at me and stopped digging their ditches to look at me. My head is quite large today and I'm a tad cocky. Sorry. And it wasn't only the sweaty dudes in the orange vests, either. A few business men took notice too. It was all sorts of awesome. Red lip lacquer is probably not entirely appropriate for work, but I don't care. So, ha.

Speaking of appropriateness. Let's talk about what NOT to wear to a funeral. A tight black pencil skirt paired with 4 inch black heels and a hot pink halter top made from rayon. Hello?! It's not a night club. It's my Grandpa's funeral. I can forgive the pencil skirt and heels, but a hot pink halter?! Come on. I'm still not entirely sure that this girl was related to me, but it didn't matter because I wanted to smack her for wearing hot friggin pink. How tacky.

And yet another segue.... Now, let's talk about tacky. It's so tacky when your ex husband asks you out on a date. It's even more tacky when you know he's married. Sleeze.

And now a bulleted list of happenings while on my visit to Missouri:

• I got free beer. It was awesome. I drank my free beer while viewing horses at this place.
• Ticks are bitches and I hate them. One was working it's way into my flesh on my neck. Another was walking around trying to locate a proper spot, again on my neck. The last one found a nice cozy spot, on my ass. Picture the throwing up smiley here.
• It's possible to eat frozen custard at a place called Fritz's 4 times in two days and not get tired of it.
• It's a bad idea to eat at Fazoli's, White Castle and Lion's Choice all within a 24 time period.
• Sometimes you buy so much crap while out of town that it become necessary to mail yourself a package at the post office to make sure you are below the 50 pound weight limit for your checked luggage. (48 pounds, natch!)
• I realized how some family members are assholes.
• I realized that some family members are the best ever and I am proud to call them mine.
• I had no idea how many options of ladies underwear that Walmart carries.
• I only know this because I didn't pack any undies for myself.
• Disposable diapers smell WAY worse than cloth diapers and I'm glad to get back to the cloth.
• The last bullet was about Jackson, not me.
• Which I hope you knew.
• Because otherwise you probably think I use diapers.
• Which I don't
• Ok, I'll stop now.
• Some people's devil horns come out when on go carts.
• It's become a tradition for my dad to take us kids and cousins to ride go carts. It's one of my favorite traditions.
• I've fallen in love with old Valentine's cards and acquired a few that were my great grandma's. Now I just need to decide what to do with them
• Suggestions are appreciated.
• Trader Joe's was not that impressive. They had some neat stuff, but nothing super fantastic that I couldn't live without. Although the one we went to was super small.
• It's always lovely to come home after being gone for a while. I missed my bed.

And lastly! BlogHer plane tickets. MUST BUY WITHIN THE WEEK. If you hear of any good deals, please please pass them along. Otherwise my roomies might beat me if I didn't come.