A long string of incoherent thoughts.

On June 2 my youngest rag-a-muffin turned 16 months old. 16 months really isn't that much time in the whole scheme of things but I simply cannot remember life without him. Ok, I really can remember life without him, but I don't want to, that's for sure.

Just in the past few months he's amazed me with his abilities to just be alive. He walks! And he tries to run! He has habits and idiosyncrasies and irritating things he does I think just to irritate me. But he's all mine and I wouldn't trade him for anything.

One of my favorite, and truly annoying, things he does is right before he throws something or drops something he says "Uh oh" as a warning and then the object is gone. He makes sure to look right at me after he says it just to make sure I see him drop his cup or throw a toy. I can't help but think it's cute. Even if it does drive me insane.

Just in the last few days he's become my own personal parrot. He will repeat almost anything you say in his own baby way. Window is 'neeno'. Thank you is 'ank u'. Derick is 'dewee'. Car is 'kah'. I could go on and on, but these are the words he says most often. Sometimes I wanna say shit or motherfucker just to see what he'll say. Excellent parent material right here. I'm aware.

He is OBSESSED with balls. It's interesting that this is his first real item he's shown interest in. He sees anything that shaped like a ball and repeats baa, baa, baa over and over again. And because I'm excited that he has his first obsession he now has approximately 97 balls. Big balls, little balls, red balls, multicolored balls and everything in between.

Recently he discovered his, um, babyhood. That's much more appropriate than manhood. He's just a baby ya know. He just looked down and realized that something was there that he'd never noticed before. It sure makes diaper changes interesting. I have to move faster than his little hands do. He gets all sorts of pissed when I won't let him fiddle with his business. Fortunately, since I have the 12 year old, I know this obsession doesn't go away. Ever. What are ya gonna do?

He's a picky eater, too. I don't think it's because he doesn't like certain foods really, I think it's because they look different. The only vegetable I can get him to eat are freeze dried peas. Do you know how hard it is to find freeze dried peas? I stress about the nutritional value of freeze dried peas versus fresh peas. But then I realize that that those dried peas are probably the only veggie he will be eating that day. He loves all fruit and cheese sticks. He's a bread man and could eat a loaf if you let him. Atkins - be damned!

When he drops something he bend his knees and sticks his butt out and it's just about the cutest butt I've ever seen. He's also started climbing on things which I'm not prepared for. I know he needs to learn to do climb and discover but I'm terrified that he'll fall and stab himself in the eye or break a leg or something equally awful. I have to remember to stand back but stay close and man, that's hard!

Lately I've been debating trimming Jackson's hair. It's so long. But it's adorably curly in the back so you can't tell it's long until it's bath time then he looks like a little girl. I don't even want to cut his hair. In fact, I don't even want him to grow up.

I hate that as he gets older I won't remember these days with much clarity. I barely remember Derick as a baby and I don't want to forget. I want to remember when he started FINALLY calling me mommy and mimicked me blowing on his food and saying 'ot' for hot. I want to remember when he sleeps he still sticks his butt up in the air sometimes. I want to remember that when I go get him from his room in the morning or after a nap that he always gets a big smile and says 'hi!'. I want to remember when he hated walking on grass even with shoes on. I want to remember the day when he finally decided grass wasn't evil but ended up walking so fast that he fell and rolled down the slope in the yard and laughed. I want to remember when he learned how to give high 5's. I want to remember it all.

Hopefully just writing this will help me to remember these days a little better. Hopefully.