A shift in decorating

Anyone who's been to my house knows that I am not afraid of color. I have bright red, yellow and blue walls in different rooms in my house. Orange, too! I have a lovely olive-y green sofa and a teal colored desk. I have always routinely gravitated toward the brighter, showier prints and colors. If it's white I'll probably pass right by it and focus on the highlighter pink items. I've torn page after page after page of interesting, colorful layouts of homes from magazines. It's an obsession to fill my house with color.

I don't lean toward beige's or taupe's or other muddy brown colors. They seem so, I don't know, brown. I just can't get into them. It's the same for white walls and white furniture.
B-O-R-I-N-G. Who wants to live in a sterile looking environment when there are so many color choices out there. The people at Ralph Lauren and Home Depot aren't sitting around developing new colors like 'Racer Pink' and 'Bicycle Yellow' for no reason.

But (there's always a but, isn't there?), I bought a lovely woven jute rug for my living room this weekend and the color is the gorgeous wheat-grass-blowing-in-the-summer-wind color. I feel like the beach should the view from my window (not my neighbor's house just a feet away) or that the sand is just a few steps away. That rug? Is so brown. BUT! It's so refreshing and clean looking and not jarring like the teal blue rug I did have in it's place. It tones down the green sofa and makes it calming.

As I was admiring my new sofa/rug combination an odd thought came to mind. Why don't I paint the living room wall a nice crisp white. I know. TRUST ME I KNOW. I see the irony here. Start with a brown rug and work my way toward sterile white. WTF, man. I practically slapped myself silly, especially when I recalled how many MANY coats of red paint I applied to those walls.

So, here's my dilemma and maybe you bloggy people can help me. I really am gravitating toward white and clean and orderly and I am seriously considering painting the walls white, or something equally light. But I want the look to feel comfortable and clean and modern, not sterile and boring. I want it to glow and feel inviting, not stark. How is that look achieved? I can't just slap on some white or light colored paint and hope that the room feels complete. Surely there's more to it. What gives a light colored room depth and color without the obvious color on the walls?

Oh, Internet, won't you help me?


Friday fun

Today I'm leaving work a little early to have an evening with the ladies. Two of my favorite ladies, ever. My mom, her best friend and I are going to get our makeup done by a professional "Hollywood Makeup Artist". Supposedly she does makeup for some pretty famous ladies. It will be fun to ask her who has bad skin and who's really awful in person. Although I doubt she'd give up that information, but a girl can ask, can't she?

After our makeup sessions the three of us are going to get some dinner. I doubt anywhere fancy, but I'm looking forward to some down time. Boy howdy*, I sure do need some down time that's for sure.

Afterwards I will be picking up Jackson and heading home to gear up for a full work day tomorrow.

Only 19 days of tax season left!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


*I have no idea why I wrote "boy howdy", it just popped in my head. /odd


And so I struggle...

I was talking to a client of mine the other day and told him about Jackson's fall from the third story window and how amazing it was that he was unscathed (for the most part). Everyone agrees that it's a miracle that he walked away with just a few scratches. My client asked me if this experience had "opened my eyes". This particular client is a religious man and he quotes the bible often so I knew exactly what he meant. He wanted to know if I was any closer to praising God for saving my child. Other people have praised God up one side and down another and I just, well, I just struggle with doing the same.

You see, one of my other clients has a son who fell from a two story window several years ago. He was about the same age as Jackson when he fell. He's permanently brain damaged and will never be the same child. He will probably never be self sufficient. He and his mother were one of my very first thoughts when I heard that my own son had fallen from a window. I bargained for a broken arm or leg or a permanent scar. Anything except for permanent brain damage or worse. It's funny what you'll settle with when faced with possible death.

I struggle with praising God for letting my child walk away un-harmed because why did he choose my son over another mother's son? When someone says that "God is good" and he helped my son, all I can think is what about the other boy? What about the other children who fall from windows and don't walk away? Is my son more special than other mother's sons? I don't think so. I think each child is as special as the rest.

Don't get my wrong. I am so grateful and over the moon that my son is perfectly OK and that he will have no lasting anything from his tumble. I thank my lucky stars everyday and I think that there's a reason he was spared. I think there's something out there bigger than all of us, I'm just not sure that's it's one man, or spirit, or ghost or whatever.

I may come to my moment of reckoning and wish I had believed with every fiber of my being. I may take that moment to start praying and asking for forgiveness from God himself instead of just asking for forgiveness from the universe. I may regret not going to church and giving thanks and 10% of my income to a church to "spread the word".

It's all unknown and that's what I struggle with I suppose. All I do know is that I'd be naive to think that there isn't something out there that is bigger than all of us. There just has to be. I know that when I think of seeing my boy for the first time after he fell will be etched in my brain forever and my throat will catch and I'll have to hold back tears. I know that sneaking into his room late at night to watch him breathe is a luxury that I relish now more than ever.

I'm eternally grateful to whoever saved my son whether it was God or angels or little sprites. I believe in something, I'm just working out exactly what that is.


My baby fell from a third story window.

Yesterday Jackson fell from his daddy's third floor apartment window. And he's basically fine. Other than some wicked scratches on his lower body, he's fine.

He was taken by ambulance to the hospital where they did a bunch of tests and determined that he was OK to go home. We think he must have fallen on his butt into the bushes below. When his daddy found him he was standing up, crying, but OK.

The moment I got the phone call and the first sight of Jackson were the worst moments of my life. I wouldn't wish that horror on anyone.

Thanks to everyone who sent well wishes, prayers and positive thoughts.

My baby walked out of the hospital last night eating pretzels. It's a total miracle.


You'd think I have time to read by this post.

Yesterday I had the day off! and I was kid free! and it was a fairly nice day outside! I hung out with my parents almost the entire day. After returning a few ill-fated purchases I joined them for lunch, went to Barnes & Noble, took in a movie, stopped at the grocery store (so my cats wouldn't die of starvation) and then grabbed some dinner. It was a lovely day, and now I have a TON of new books to read. I tweeted about my book purchases yesterday and the lovely Danielle asked me what I got. Now, Danielle, I swear I wasn't ignoring you, I was only trying to figure out how to write, in 180 characters or less, the vast amount of books I got. Instead of tweeting about it, I'm going to tell you guys all about each book I got.

Honestly, I never had much interest in reading this book. I mean come on, it's like a billion years old and it's filled with words that I'd never use like whilst. So here's why I bought it. I often get stuck by long stop lights and trains on my way home. It's not uncommon to be stuck by a train for 10 minutes. In an effort to entertain myself I downloaded an iPhone app that's got something like 15 classic books. It's like a mini, electronic book. So I picked Gulliver's Travels to read and I actually made it quite far in the book just from reading it on my phone. When I was at B&N yesterday I happened to see the actual book and for some reason I couldn't resist getting it. I actually enjoy the book and the whist's and hereto's don't bother me much.

He's Just Not That Into You by Greg Behrendt
One of my girlfriend's, Chandler, told me that she had read this book and that it was an easy read. Also, when she said that it was written by a man about dating I was sold. Now maybe I'll have some tiny inkling about why most men suck. Plus, I want to see the movie and I just can't see a movie and then read the book. I'm actually bummed a little because the cover of the book shows all the characters and I hate that. I want to picture the characters in my own head, I don't want to have existing person placed in there for me.
OK, so, I admit it. I buy books, most of the time, based on the cover or title. The cover of this book looks so innocent and sweet and yet there's something I can't quite place, something dark about it. When I read the back of the book to see what it was about I was just drawn in. I have anxiety about reading this book, but I also picture warm summer nights filled with an innocence I'll never have again.

Hi Chandler! You told me about this movie, remember? So I picked up the book and read what it was about and it seemed, different. I'm always up for a book that's different. Plus, it's a movie now and I'd like to see it, but I require myself to read the book first.

I adore Wally Lamb. I've read all of his (two) books thus far and I just really enjoyed them. This book is QUITE thick and large and it was probably one of the more expensive books I've purchased in a long time. This is not a light hearted novel which means that I'll have to psych myself up to read this, but I just know it will be worth the time. Plus, I like the cover photo. I know that I often burn both ends simultaneously.

So, this isn't a book, I'm aware. It's note cards that I can mail to people. The artwork is some of my favorite for children's books and who doesn't love a cute caterpillar that turns into a "beautiful butterfly"?

I am actually in the middle of reading this book right now. I bought it in Ohio when I was visiting my Aunt. She has the coolest bookstore by her house and I'm totally jealous. So I read this on my, extremely short, lunch breaks and it's taken me a while to read much of it but I'm half way through the book and I'm really enjoying it. If you love books and love reading about books, read this one. It's great.

In Their Shoes by Grace Halsell
I was reading another book recently that referenced to this book and once I read what it was about I just had to get it. It's fascinates me when someone "becomes" someone else to gain knowledge, or experience or ammunition.

I've made it my personal mission to educate myself about the vegan diet. I read about it from all aspects, health of the human body, the lives of the innocent animals, the impact on the planet and the dire working conditions of the slaughter house employees. This is yet another book I am excited to read. Plus the cover is thought provoking, at least for me.


Organization is not a strong trait I posses.

So, The Container Store is having a sale on their Elfa organizational products. It looks to be an awesome sale that doesn't end till mid May so I'm contemplating plunking my hard earned money down to organize my closet.

Which closet you ask? My bedroom closet. It's a nice walk in closet that is large enough to house my ridiculously large shoe collection, vast amounts of clothes I've collected over the years and other random things I can't seem to part with. But it's a MESS. It's really just a few shelves and a hanging area and that's it. There's no way to really organize it other than hang things up and keep the shoes in the mismatched floor and door organizers I have. The dead space that's not being used is vast.

I will admit that I suck at putting clothes away. My dresser is covered with folded, clean clothes that I just can't manage to make myself put away. So I figure if I get some sort of drawer option in my closet that maybe it will be a little easier than my current plan. Which is obviously a non-plan.

Plus, I decided not to put extra money into my retirement account like I had planned on. Instead of investing in the stock market I'll be investing in my home. It sounds good, right?

My only stress? Installing it myself. I don't normally have large blocks of time that I can spend hammering and measuring and installing things. There's that whole having a toddler underfoot to worry about. Not to mention the fact that I work much more than I did a few months ago.

I've got some time to decide and tweak the current layout that the Container Store people did for me. Until then I will continue to have pleasant day dreams about a beautifully organized closet fit for a queen.


Filler post

I know that all 4.3 of you miss me. So here's a random filler post. (Send extra help here....working too much....need a nap. Also, maybe some chocolate.)

1. My ex...isn't getting his income tax refund, I am!!!!! It's about damn time, considering he owes over 50 THOUSAND dollars. Plus, I'm all feeling good about the fact that I took some of that money and started a savings account so Derick will have a few bucks for college.

2. Maybe I should...finally get my act together and finish the things I start. I fear it's become a habit that I'm having a hard time breaking.

3. I love....being a vegan. Like, seriously love it. I feel better and look better (I think) and I love that I eat some a large variety of things I would have never eaten.

4. People would say that I'm...kind but that I don't put up with shit from other people (sometimes to my detriment).

5. I don't understand why...there are only 3 months in which to complete almost one years worth of work.

6. When I wake up in the morning.....I sometimes thank my lucky stars that I bought the good mattress and not the cheap one.

7. I lost my.....well, let's see. I lost a TON of money in already tiny retirement account. How will I ever retire? Also, I lost an entire fund that I had. Not that there was much in it, but still.

8. Life is full of....interesting people. And by interesting I mean fun and peculiar and awful and awesome and all things rolled into one.

9. My past is...something I attempt to learn from but sometimes I need a reminder.

10. I get annoyed...when I try so hard to get something and then other people barely have to try at all it just comes to them. I like to think that I appreciate it more, but it's still annoying.

11. Parties are....too far and few between!

12. I wish....Someone would manage my money and bills. Anyone?

13. Dogs…are annoying when they eat cat poop. *gross*

14. Cats.....love to walk on my kitchen counters and it drives me crazy. I know where those feet have been!

15. Tomorrow I....will get to wear jeans to work.

16. I have low tolerance....for mean or ignorant people.

17. If I had a million dollars... I'd pay a lot of taxes. Then I'd pay my house off. (Only 11 years left!)

18. I'm totally terrified... that my children won't learn how to have a normal relationship with a significant other because they don't see me in one.

19. My spouse is.... um...a figment of my imagination?

20. My life is...mostly fun and interesting and full of surprises.