If I have the nerve or the chance...

I stole this from Jennie. I'm sure she doesn't mind.

Here are my unsaid things I'd love to say if I had the guts or opportunity to do so:

1.) I wish things could have been different. I wish I would have been more my more authentic self so you didn't now think I was a totally different person. I miss our carefree days when we were kids. I wish you would stop drinking so much and be nicer to people in general.

2.) I feel honored that we are friends. I wish we were closer.

3.) I often wonder if I would have been 100% me instead of what I thought you wanted me to be, if things would have turned out differently. Did you know I wasn't being my real self?

4.) Thank you for trying your hardest to be in my life. After all these years I am still adjusting. I only hope that I can trust you to stay in my life longer than a few years.

5.) Please take care of yourself. You are slowly killing yourself and it hurts me to watch. I am trying so hard to not be like you in that way. I love you, please do something before you die.

6.) You are a selfish brat. And you know it, don't you? I'd still do anything for you.

7.) You are worth so much more than what you are allowing yourself to have. I hope that you rid yourself of the parasite that's sucking the life out of you. I barely recognize you anymore, physically and emotionally.

8.) Our relationship confused me. It still does.

9.) I'm glad I didn't sleep with you when I had the chance. SO GLAD.

10.) I'm so sorry. I hope that I can forgive myself for what I did to you. I don't think about you nearly enough, but when I do I always hold back the tears.