She's crafty. Or not.

I admire people with skills like crafting, photography, knitting, decoupage, baking, writing or whatever. If you can make something and make it awesome, you are totally cool in my book.

I've tried numerous things in the 30 years I've been chilling on this planet to prove I have some talent at something. Anything. I'm still searching for the one thing I can make with my own hands that I can show off and be proud off.


My intentions are always there and I get really excited to make something with my own hands. I buy books and materials and research and ask questions. Ultimately I never quite succeed in making anything worth keeping.

I participated in a garage sale at a friend's house a few weekends ago and sold all the things I had ever tried to make. I was almost embarrassed at the things I had tried and not completed. First there were all those acrylic paints. I had no particular purpose for them although I did use them. I tried my version of painting on a canvas. It was totally not painting either. It was me spending an hour painting a large canvas in one solid color. I doubt that someone will show up at Antiques Roadshow in 100 years and be told that my 'art' is priceless. I did paint a few terracotta pots but they turned out horrible. An ex boyfriend did a better job at painting them then I did.

Then I focused my attention on jewelry making. I'm a BIG BIG jewelry fan. I've been an avid collector for around 10 years and you'd be amazed at what I have. It would only be natural to make something myself, right? I bought books and jewelery wire and pretty stones and clasps and bead organizers and a billion other things. I made a few necklaces and a pair of earrings and deemed them too 'kindergarten craft project' to ever wear them. I sold the entire collection of jewelry making stuff for $8. That little girl got a bargain.

Funny t-shirt making was a fleeting hobby. A friend of mine made me the funniest shirt with her own two hands. She bought a store made shirt and gussied it up with fabric and fancy glue and letters. She made me two different ones. Two "inside joke"shirts that I still have in my closet. I thought it would be hilarious to make shirts for friends as jokes. Included in that arsenal were t-shirts in various colors, assorted fabrics in different patterns, iron on letters glue on sequins and a plethora of other items to make a t-shirt more than just plain. I made one shirt, deemed it stupid looking and sold the whole lot at the garage sale for a few bucks. Another bargain.

Then, THEN! I bought a bunch of string and was going to make this really cool wall art project I saw on HGTV. I coordinated all the string colors, painted all the nail heads that I would need for the project, measured the string, picked a spot on the wall and then proceeded to put everything in the guest bedroom closet. I donated it all last week.

Let's talk scrap booking. Hasn't almost every woman under the age of 100 at least attempted this? A finished scrapbook is a great way to display cherished photos. I actually did finish quite a few pages and then gave up. It takes a lot of time and scrap booking is not cheap. I sold hundreds of sheets of paper, sheet after sheet of stickers and transfer on letters. Embellishments and cut outs and scissors and punches and tape and OMG, it's almost to hard to even say what I sold it for. $10. I want to cry. I only hope that the lady who bought that stuff knows what a deal she got. She better be making scrapbook pages AS I TYPE THIS.

I can't forget my attempt at crocheting. This is actually something I've been trying to do for many years. My Grandma B taught me to crochet and I actually enjoy doing it. But I can't make a square to save my life. I made a blanket once that's this odd shape and entirely too small for the normal human being. After Jackson was born I decided he needed a pair of mommy made crochet pants for winter. I picked out some nice warm, pretty wool. Got a new set of crochet hooks in different sizes and downloaded instructions online. I spent hours and hours remaking just the leg of the pants. When I got to the crotch area I gave up. Who knew crotches were not easy to make. I sold all the crochet stuff, too. Probably for a song.

A few years ago I even registered to be in a ceramics class in college to get my elective out of the way. I pictured the teacher praising me and my artist hands. My skill with ceramics would rival those of the masters. Ok, I didn't really expect that much praise. But I was hoping maybe THIS would finally be THE thing I've been looking for. Meh, not so much. I had fun in the class and made a few pieces that I'm quite proud of, but it's nothing to write home about. I attempted to sell a vase I had made at that garage sale. A man picked it up and showed it to his wife and asked if she wanted it. She crinkled up her nose and shook her head no. Now Goodwill has it on some shelf probably marked for a buck ninety nine. With a half price sticker on it.

Probably the one thing I keep trying over and over again is cooking. I can follow a recipe like everyone else. What I'd love to do is make my own recipes that are worthy of sharing with humans and not just my dog. I tried again last night. Derick liked what I made, but I didn't. And I'll be honest, my almost 13-year-old doesn't have the most refined palet.

Someday I'll find that one thing I'm good at creating. I figure that day I stop trying to find it, that's when I've given up on life. Until then, I keep an empty set of drawers to hold materials and tools for my next project.


Tell me, what are you good at making or creating? And how did you discover your talent?

Busting it out old skool style.

I remember the days of MySpace blogs posts where all I seem to post were random surveys. Because I'm feeling particularly uninspired to write anything these days, I'll take a detour to my old ways.

Let's do it.

A is for age: 30. THIS DISTURBS ME TO NO END. I'M NOT IN MY 20'S ANYMORE AND I'M NOT HAPPY ABOUT IT.

B is for beer of choice: I'M A MILLER LITE GIRL. I RARELY DEVIATE. THAT'S PROBABLY BECAUSE I DON'T DRINK MUCH ALCOHOL AT ALL. TODAY I ACTUALLY HAD SOME BEER BUT ONLY MANAGED TO DRINK 1/2 OF THE BOTTLE BEFORE IT GOT HOT AND I WAS SO OVER IT.

C is for career right now: MOM. OH, AND THAT OTHER JOB THAT PAYS THE BILLS, ACCOUNTANT.

D is for your dog's name: EMMA. WHEN SHE'S MISBEHAVING I TEND TO CALL HER THINGS LIKE JACKASS OR LITTLE FUCKER. BUT SHE'S USUALLY JUST EMMA.

E is for essential item you use everyday: SOME VERSION OF CHAPSTICK OR LIP GLOSS. MY LIPS GET ANGRY WHEN I DON'T TAKE CARE OF THEM.

F is for favorite TV show at the moment: PROBABLY TOP CHEF. I HAD NO IDEA THIS SHOW EXISTED UNTIL ABOUT 2 WEEKS AGO WHEN I HAPPENED TO FLIP THE TV ON THERE IT WAS. HOLY CRAP, IT'S FUN TO WATCH. I SORT OF HAVE A CRUSH ON TOM COLICCHIO. I'M A BIG FAN OF SHINY HEADED BALD DUDES.

G is for favorite game: UM, I DON'T HAVE A CLUE, REALLY. I DON'T PLAY MANY GAMES. EVEN THOUGH I HAVE A SELECTION IN MY GUEST BEDROOM CLOSET.

H is for Home town: TECHNICALLY IT'S ST. LOUIS, MO. BUT I'M MORE AT HOME WITH FORT WORTH, TX WHERE I SPENT MOST OF MY GROWING UP YEARS AT.

I is for instruments you play: I PLAY THE LEAPFROG DRUM PRETTY WELL.

J is for favorite juice: I LOOOOOOOVE ORANGE JUICE WITH INSANE AMOUNTS OF PULP IN IT.

K is for whose butt you'd like to kick: ERIC'S. BUT HE ALREADY KNOWS THIS.

L is for last place you ate: AT A NEIGHBOR'S HOUSE FOR MEMORIAL DAY A FEW HOURS AGO.

M is for marriage: DO YOU HEAR ME LAUGHING? I'M CONVINCED IT'S NOT IN THE CARDS FOR ME. AT LEAST NOT ANYTIME SOON.

N is for your full name: WE ALL KNOW THE RULES OF BLOGGING. CAN'T DO IT.

O is for overnight hospital stays: TWO. WHEN I HAD DERICK AND WHEN I HAD JACKSON. THEY BOTH SUCKED. THE HOSPITAL STAYS, NOT THE KIDS. HA!

P is for people you were with today: JENNIE AND I HAD LUNCH AND DID SOME SHOPPING THEN I WENT TO MY NEIGHBORS HOUSE FOR A BBQ.

Q is for quote: I DO NOT INTEND TO TIP TOE THROUGH LIFE ONLY TO ARRIVE SAFELY AT DEATH. MY FAVORITE QUOTE.

R is for Biggest Regret: I DON'T REGRET ANYTHING. REGRET IS A WASTE OF TIME.

S is for status: SINGLE. I'LL SKIP THE SNIDE COMMENT THIS TIME.

T is for time you woke up today: 9:45AM. IT WAS AWESOME! THAT'S THE LATEST I'VE BEEN ABLE TO SLEEP IN FOR WEEKS.

U is for underwear you have on now: DAMN. I SHOULD HAVE READ THE WHOLE SURVEY TO MAKE SURE I WAS GOING TO SKIP A QUESTION LIKE THIS. I'LL JUST SAY IT'S NOT YOUR GRANNY'S KIND OF UNDIES.

V is for vegetable you love: SUGAR SNAP PEAS. THOSE ARE MY MOST FAVORITE EVER.

W is for worst habit: I'M PROUD TO SAY THAT I GOT RID OF MY WORST HABIT 26 DAYS AGO.

X is for x-rays you've had. A BILLION. ALL FROM CAR ACCIDENTS.

Y is for yummy food you ate today: A SAMMICH FROM CORNER BAKERY. IT WAS ON PRETZEL BREAD AND EVERYONE LIKES PRETZELS, RIGHT?

Z is for zodiac sign: I'M A VIRGO. AND WHAT A BORING ENDING TO ALL THESE QUESTIONS.

Bring on the home improvement projects

In my garage I have 44 cases on the most awesome "wood" flooring. It's a lovely warm cherry color and looks exactly like real wood. I absolutely cannot wait to get started. Even though that means moving every piece of furniture in 80% of my house which is going to be a total pain in the ass. But I just know the end result will be so worth it.

Also in my garage is a large bundle of primed and cut pieces of crown molding for my bedroom and the guest bedroom. I'm excited about this, too. My house is essentially a square box with windows and zero character. No details that give it life at all. A little paint, some nails and spackle and I'll have a tad more character.

Can we say increase in value?!

Now I just need rugs. I need a large living room rug, a large runner for the entry/hall, a large one for my bedroom and the guest bedroom. Even though I'm barely getting ANY comments these days, if you know of any rug websites fell free to spam me!

Pretties

Aren't they pretty? I got these jewelry displays on Etsy. The one the left is an earring tree and on the right is a necklace tree. These pieces represent maybe 10% of my jewelry collection, but I wanted a pretty way to display some of my more colorful, interesting pieces. Among the pretties are cheap Target earrings, Forever 21 necklaces and some of my Great Grandma's baubles.

Have I mentioned how much I love Etsy?

Speaking of Etsy....how do you pronounce it? Does it sound Betsy without the 'B' or like Eat with and 's' and a 'y'?

I may give her Mother of the Year award.

So I was driving down a residential street over the weekend minding my own business. I was on my way to pick up a friend for a dinner out with the girls. It was about 6:30 pm and the weather was nice so there were a few kids outside playing and adults doing adult grown up things (that they probably secretly hate doing, like yard work and washing the car). I was being mindful of my speed on this residential road because I have kids and I know I want to beat down the people that think it's ok to go 40 miles an hour while they turn the corner by my house.


So I was ambling along going EXACTLY 24MPH. I checked. The only reason I checked was because some lady was sitting on at the end of her driveway in a lawn chair watching her (probably between the ages of 8 and 9) kids play. I saw the kids, I saw her and then I saw her mouth to me to slow down and proceed to flip me off. IN FRONT OF HER KIDS.


I stopped the car, looked behind me and proceeded to back up. I rolled the window down and told her that the speed limit was 30 on her street and I was only going 24. Then I told her that it wasn't necessary to flip me off. Without hesitation she yelled "FUCK YOU BITCH!" and flipped me off again. I must repeat this part...IN FRONT OF HER KIDS. I hesitated for a moment before I started to drive off and told her it wasn't very mature to flip me off, cuss me out and act so immature IN FRONT OF HER KIDS.




I was flabbergasted. Does she not see the irony? She wants me to protect her kids by slowing down (when I wasn't even speeding in the first place) yet she's teaching her kids that verbally abusing a total stranger is ok.


I don't speed on residential roads, I just don't. And I'm shocked that some lady I don't even know would be so abusive to a total stranger in front of her children. I just know those kids are going to grown up thinking that it's ok to treat people like dirt.



It's one thing to have the momma bear claws out to protect your wee little ones. It's a totally different story to behave in such a manner that will your kids will remember for the rest of the their lives.



:::::::::



In other news...it's almost summer vacation for Derick. Which means he'll be gone all summer at his dad's house. I'm sad. :(

Revamp in the works...

I've been spiffying up my entry/hall way for the last few weeks. It's taking me forever, but I'm making great progress, at least I think so.

Here's the awful before.

Other than the artwork on the wall, it was boring and bland and a mess. I'm actually embarrassed that people came to my house and saw this.

To date, I've painted (almost done), replaced some furniture, took all the random stickers and posters off of the 12-year-olds bedroom door, and hung new art work. I still need to finish painting (I've lost some steam), install the new hardwood flooring that I'm going to get this weekend and recover the red bench (not pictured in this picture).

Here's the after...even though it's not quite an after. More like a midway point.

I'm not afraid of color in the slightest and I just love this bright yellow. The room's colors are yellow, red, turquoise and white for the most part. After the flooring is installed I want to get a large rug that coordinates and ties the room all together. I'm sure that will be a massive search.

So far I'm happy with the results. A few tweaks here and there and I'll be even happier.

To see the full array of things I've done so far you can check these photos out.

I shouldn't call myself a blogger.

I never make time to write anything these days. I think of TONS of stuff but I know I'm a sucky writer and don't want to litter the Internet with my drivel. BUT! Jennie tagged me and I must oblige. If only because I'm required to do so.

The rules are simple. Here are 6 things that you probably don't know about me. I swear to try and make this interesting.

1. Sometimes I turn on the classical music radio station and 'jam out', if that's even possible while listening to Beethoven and Chopin.

2. I collect shot glasses. Which is really odd because I rarely drink.

3. I hardly every cry. If I'm crying it's because I've finally reached my breaking point. It frustrates my mother to no end that I don't cry. Probably because she cries at the drop of a hat. I think for a long time she thought it meant I didn't care, but that's simply not true. When I get upset I usually clam up and shove it deep down and then it comes back up in a ball of messy tears and a runny nose. It's not pretty.

4. I'm actually a pretty good singer. I was in choir for 4 years in middle and high school but I goofed off so much that I never met my potential. Everyone who's heard me sing always makes comments about how good I sound. But I'm so painfully shy about my singing ability that I rarely sing out loud in front of people. I come from a family (on my real dad's side) of singers. An aunt is a professional singer and my real dad is an opera singer.

5. I have a teddy bear that's a whore. Her name is Vegas. I got her in Vegas a few years ago (I know, I'm so inventive with names). She often goes without panties and is generally a flusie. I have a picture of her and me the day I got her. I know you wanna see.

I know, I was tan! and skinnier! Vegas doesn't look like a whore there, but trust me, she's all sorts of loose.

6. I have a mild form of OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder). I was actually taking medication for it recently. I know this sounds odd and I'm a total freak, but I count and alphabetize. I count by 2's all the time in my head. Often times you can see my hands and see that I'm counting using my fingers. I also put words in alphabetical order. If I see a 'Yield' road sign, I put the letters in alphabetical order. Deily. <--That's yield. I know, I'm a freak of nature. This is a BIG thing to announce on the Internet, considering only 2 people in my life know about it. Talk about going out with a bang!

I won't tag anyone to fill this out, but please do so if you feel so inclined.