Well, hello Internet.

Um, it's that time of year again. I work all day on a computer and have zero desire to switch my computer on at home. I don't even think I've gone into my guest/office room at home in over 2 weeks. The door is permanently closed, at least for now.

I'm sure you don't want to hear about taxes and how I have to fix my own tax return because I'm too busy with everyone else's that I forgot to add many things. It's like the cobbler who owns no shoes and the mechanic who's car is on it's last leg. That's me. I think I amend my tax return every other year because I leave stuff off. *bangs head on desk*

I thought I'd pop by here really quickly during my alarmingly short lunch break and post a list of things that are making me smile as of late.

• My new iPhone case that I ordered in a bright, cheery green.
• Taking my youngest son to his 2 year checkup and finding that his vegan diet is just fine and he's growing like a weed. I intend on breaking the pre-conceived notion for some people who don't think it's possible.
• Taking the time to actually mop my floor with a real mop and floor cleaner. I used to use a Swiffer and it sucked.
• My size 10 jeans are too big! I bet I could wear a size 8 if I actually went shopping.
• I'm only 10 pounds to my goal weight. It's been a long road, but I'm so close.
• Hanging out with a dear, sweet friend for her birthday. Love you girl.
• My oldest son asking me to bake him white chocolate macadamia nut cookies to mail to him. He likes my baking!
• Seeing my Mom and how well she's doing with her weight loss.
• Paying off another credit card. Only 1 more to go.
• Holding the cutest newborn for long periods of time while talking to his new momma.
• Taking Jackson for a bike ride around the neighborhood and making stops at the park to play. It's so awesome. Especially when we race to go down the big slide.
• Making time to visit the zoo in a few weeks. I can't wait.
• Being told that the salads that I make everyday at work look pretty. They taste good too, in my opinion.
• Making tentative plans to go to New Orleans after tax season is over with a few ladies. I'm probably more excited than is necessary.
• Having someone come out this Sunday to quote a price to help me build my own garden.
• Taking Jackson to see Elmo Live this Sunday. I can't wait to see his face.
• Driving my Mom's Smart car and having people smile. It's a car that makes everyone smile.
• Giving my dog, Emma, belly rubs and knowing that she's in total nirvana.
• Knowing that tax season is over in just a few short weeks. (About 7 to be almost exact.)

Internet Dating.

Do you guys remember my horror stories about online dating? Apparently I haven't taken enough abuse so I'm at it again. I've found some handsome, sweet-sounding men so far. No dates yet, but I've had some really interesting messages. One guys told me that it was important to have sex very soon after meeting because it was the key to a lasting relationship. I politely declined and told him good luck on his booty call search. (I wonder what will happen when his junks doesn't work as well as it used it. Will he then learn the art of conversation?)

I got a message today that made me laugh out loud. If they wasn't 45 I would have probably responded. Although he is a little crazy sounding:

"I cannot, cannot, cannot use chopsticks. Now I refuse to. Otherwise it takes about 4 hours to eat my meal. That's if I get any. My food's usually sprayed around the restaurant. Nearby diners spend the evening picking my chow mein from their clothes, eyebrows and nostrils. The fortune cookie's a farce. Mine always says "You are still very hungry". The wait-staff suppress giggles when they give me my bill. Sometimes I take the bus for the adventure. A few days ago, I sat beside this HUGE old black lady who offered me some home-baked raisin bread. She rummaged through 3 big trash bags and, after a few close shaves with an excitable chihuahua, produced it. She said that if I knew Jesus, I could have some. I didn't want the bread but denying Jesus didn't sound too promising either. I mean, I like Jesus but he LOVES me so it's a bit awkward. As I quietly panicked, she dinged the bell and ordered me to carry her bags off the bus. I precariously lumbered her trash bags, careful to cause as little bodily harm as possible to fellow passengers. When I got back to my seat, she'd left me some raisin bread anyway. I fed it to the dog. Never did like chihuahuas."

So, as you snuggle with your husband/wife/girlfriend/boyfriend or whatever, please keep me in mind. I'll be out there pounding the e-mails to find my love. He's GOT to be out there somewhere. He's just really really hard to find.

Bummed

Derick moved to be with Dad barely 1 month and a half ago. I talk to him on the phone almost every single day. I miss the kid.

Last week we talked about him coming home for the summer and he said he was going to come here for the whole summer and I was all sorts of excited because there's that missing him business. I mentally planned hiking at this cool new place that's close to our house by the lake, Six Flags, lost of walks around the neighborhood, playing outside with both kids and just generally hanging out. In my head it was going to be perfect and I was pumped.

Now I'm just feeling beat down. He just called me and said that his Dad has plans for them this summer and he thinks he'd like to just come home for "10 days". I get 10 days and that's it. I can't force him to stay if he doesn't want to, but it sure does make me feel like I don't matter as much as his Dad.

Bummed to the 100Th degree.

The story about the weight loss (via rambling thoughts)

I am so close to my weight loss goal. I can literally taste it. I am actually at around the same weight I was before I had Jackson but things have shifted so pre-baby clothes just don't fit the same. My hips are wider and my tush is, well, saggier. It probably isn't really, but it feels like it is!

Several years ago I joined Weight Watchers and I got to a respectable 126 pounds and wore a size 6 or 8, depending. My goal this time around is to get to between 130 and 135. 126 was just too difficult to maintain for me.

While I was away taking Derick to live with his Dad I stuffed my self full of things I knew weren't healthy in such massive proportions but I was stressed and tired and bummed and I just didn't care. Since I've been back I've taken control of my crazy out of control eating habit that I had formed over a week and I've shed about 8 pounds. It was tough work, but I feel better and my jeans aren't angry with me anymore.

I joined an online Biggest Loser competition that's been motivating me to really do it right this time. I took before photos in my sports bra and skin tight workout pants and let's just say that I had no idea that I had fat in places that one can't see when I'm dressed. Obviously I won't be posting those pictures here. I'm not that brave. But it made me realize that even though I'm considered "normal" weight for my height that I'm not where I need to be in regards to losing the excess fat I've accumulated.

Additionally, I have been so non-consistent with the exercising and it's annoying me. Now that I'm back to working full time (and then some) it's less and less appealing to go straight from work to go exercise. I attempting jogging last week and it was brutal. I made it only 1 mile before my legs started cramping. To be honest, I didn't stretch before hand (first mistake) and I hadn't done hardly any cardio exercises in weeks (second mistake) so I was ill prepared to start back up again.

I bought this awesome iPhone app called Loseit! that tracks my calories and exercise for the day and it's the best thing I've use so far. I always have my phone with me so it's an essential tool that I am so glad that I found.

The misconception seems to be that vegans are mostly thin people and that is just not true. I have a wealth of foods that are available to me and some are less than the picture of health. In fact, when I first became vegan I (wrongly) assumed that I'd drop the excess pounds in the blink of an eye. WRONG. Now I make it a point to eat raw fruits and vegetables for most of my meals. Salads and fruit smoothies are a staple that show up almost every single day of the week.

I know that I will forever struggle with my weight (it's a family trait) so I'm trying my hardest to control it without it controlling me.

:::::::::

P.S. Rebecca....your gift card will be there soon! I've been forgetful, blame it on the workload. :)

Internet sites I love.

I've been too busy lately to come up with a proper blog post so I'm giving you websites I love. Share yours too if you want. I can always use new things to look at and learn about.

The PPK - want to join a message board that answers every question about vegan's? Here's your place to go.

Someecards - On the prowl for tacky, rude and hilariously funny ecards? Here's the best site.

Red Carpet Fashion Awards - I, for one, love looking at pretty people in pretty clothes.

Project Rungay - I love this blog. I hope that Project Runway comes back soon so I can hear more witty things about the designers.

Have Cake Will Travel - OK, so I love this blog, but I LOVE this particular recipe so much. It takes time to make, but it's so worth it.

KIOSK - Cool stuff to buy. 'Nuff said.

Hostels.com - Someday I'll take a vacation far away in the world and I'll do it with friends or alone if I have to. Someday.

Perpetual Kid - Everyone knows a kid or a grown up who acts like a kid. They might appreciate a gift from this site. Or maybe you can find something for yourself.

Velocity Art And Design - It's just a cool site for cool home stuff.

Rattle-N-Roll - I really want a poster for Jackson. This site is so awesome.

PostSecret - I've been enjoying this blog for several years. It makes me cry, laugh, and everything in between.

Two years ago today

Two years ago today I was a large mass of pregnancy. I'm sure I waddled around in my elastic waisted pants that were straining under the pressure. I probably hadn't seen my toes or shaved my legs in months. I'm positive that I had to roll out of bed instead of just hopping up, I probably had to have a heaving push from the backside. My face was swollen and I had perpetual acne on my chin that wouldn't go away. I wore a size 2x zippered hoodie as a coat because I refused to purchase a maternity coat. My soon-to-be-born baby's room was ready for him. His clothes were washed and the thank you cards had been written. All that I needed was for my little bundle to make his appearance.

He was already late, weeks late, and I was getting anxious to see this little guy. Every day I tried a new method to get him to come on out from his cozy little home he'd made himself. I tried walking around the neighborhood and even the halls of my own house late into the night. I bounced on an exercise ball for hours. I tried herbal pills and drank Castor Oil. Spicy foods and stripping of the membranes made the list also. I tried it all, even sex. He was a stubborn little shit to say the least. I never had one single contraction that I felt.

My plan was to have him at home and I was so excited at the prospect of not having to be in a hospital. Everything was ready for him at home, we had our plan all set up and ready to put it into action.
But the funny thing about plans? Sometimes they fall by the wayside. My youngest son's birth was the exact opposite of my plan. I had drugs that I didn't want. I was cut up instead of using my body to deliver him and I definitely didn't plan on spending four of the longest ever days in a hospital.
My son is two years old today, February 2, and ya know what? The waiting and plan changes and the new scars on my body are so not even important. The cool thing about being a Mom is that all the bad, icky stuff you kind of forget about when this little life with 10 fingers and 10 toes and a hearty scream is introduced to you.
The last two years have flown by so fast that I can hardly believe the changes my little man has made. He talks in sentences and can count to ten almost without messing up. He knows a few colors and just learned how to put his own shoes on yesterday. He loves to be tickled and play peek-a-boo. His book of choice right now is "The Best Mouse Cookie". He asks for it almost every single night. "Mouse Cookie", he says repeatedly until he's got his little hands on the book. "That's Not My Dragon" is another favorite. And many others that fill his bookshelf. He asks to see his Grandma, Papa, Grammy and Pappy on a regular basis. He knows his Grandparent's houses and lights up when he sees that we are visiting. He has never met a stranger in his life and says hi to almost everyone. His meltdowns are of epic proportions and the tears are fatter than ever. But the hugs are forthcoming and the kisses are sweet, even though he sometimes sticks his tongue out.
He always says "Me pat you" when it's time to go to bed because he wants me to pat him. "Me rock you" is often another request. He asks "Are you hungry?" when he wants to tell me that he's hungry. He requests "something else" all time after he's eaten one thing and is ready for another. He frequently wears his mommies shoes and I frequently take pictures of him wearing his mommies shoes. He blows kisses and makes a really loud "Muuuuuuuuuuaaaaaahhhhh" sound that I adore.
He hates when I brush his teeth and loves to chew on the toothbrush. He watches the movie "Cars" over and over and over again. He loves to be stark naked and run around the house yelling "Me running!". Slides are one of his favorite outdoor toys and he's never met a bouncy ball he didn't love. He sometimes cries for a balloon when we are at the grocery store and on the occasion that he gets a balloon he always tries to lick it. He's got his own 'chapstick' that he puts on all by himself and only occasionally does he attempt to eat it, but only after he's applied large amounts on his cheeks and up his nose.
He's just a cool ass kid and I'm so privileged to be his mom, to call him my son. When he smiles at me and kisses me and realizes that I'm laughing because he made me laugh, my heart swells and my chest puffs out and I know that I am one lucky lady.

Happy second birthday my little Bobee. You own a part of my heart and I'm glad that someone decided to let me be your mom. I sure did luck out.