An unlikely friend

I'm really nervous about writing this post because 1) I don't want to come across as a total asshat and 2) my memory sucks balls and I'm sure I won't get all the details right and 3) the most important thing, I don't want to offend or hurt any feelings.

Regardless, here goes anyways.

I must start with the background story for this all to make sense.

When I was around 23 or so I met a man named Michael who worked at the same place I did. It turned out we went to high school together, even though we didn't know each other. We were together for almost 4 years. I loved him so very much and he was a great man. But as many relationships go, we didn't last. I was hurt and angry and confused and just knew it must have been me. Something was flawed in me that made me not good enough. I didn't really have any relationships with any other men until I met Eric 2 years ago. Sure, I'd dated a few guys and had a good time but it just wasn't the same. Michael and I stayed friends even after we parted ways. When he'd come into town to visit family (he had moved 3 hours away a few years into our relationship) he almost always stopped by to visit. We'd call each other on special occasions (birthdays, holidays, etc) and always knew how the other was doing.

I guess I somehow thought that someday he'd come back. It was never discussed and I was never led to believe anything other than that we were friends. I think I was just desperate for a companion. Someone to share my life with and have fun with and to love. I missed that tremendously. It got really old really quick going to family functions and be literally the only person there without a partner. I knew in my heart that Michael and I weren't meant to be, but I loved him and I couldn't quite let go.

(Seriously, my stomach is doing flips right now because I'm so so nervous about this post.)

Aside here: I used to post all my blogs on My Space (I know lame) and I have been going through them all to find the exact dates that I wrote stuff and exactly what I said. I know, even more lame. I'm telling you, my memory sucks.

On December 22, 2005 I wrote a blog on My Space about Michael calling me. I knew he had a girlfriend and I had actually met her at a Blue October concert. I was nice enough when I met her, but I kept it short and sweet. I didn't have any negative feelings or really many thoughts about meeting her other than I think that was about the moment I started to move on. During the phone call he told me that his girlfriend had found me on My Space thought she and I should meet sometime. I, of course, thought that would be a little to weird. I promptly dismissed the idea. I had no intention of ever meeting her on purpose. Not because I had anything to hide, just because, honestly, it was too weird and strange for me.

On January 12, 2005 I wrote another blog about Michael's girlfriend. You see, I have belonged to the Blue October message board for probably ever, or at least it feels like it. Back when they were a small band with not a huge following I became friends (in real life and via the Internet) with many other fans. In fact, Michael introduced me to the band when we were together. Somehow I realized that one new member to the board was Michael's girlfriend. I was floored. She was everywhere! At the Blue concert, finding me on My Space and now on my message board. I wrote this ridiculous blog about how I was feeling. I just reread the blog and OH. MY. GOD. Can we say whiny crybaby? I'll spare you the horrible details, but just know I was a total whiny baby.

The very same day (or maybe a day later) she read the blog. I honestly didn't think she'd ever read it. I figured a few friends would read it, come to my defense, and make me feel all better.

Shortly after I wrote that horrendous blog she sent me a My Space message. I remember getting ready to open it and read it. I remember thinking, "I'm gonna get my ass chewed up one way and down another." and I would have totally deserved it. I seriously was acting like I was 13 all over again.

But ya know what? She did the total opposite of what I expected. She was gracious and actually THANKED me for helping to make Michael the person he is today. Now is the time where I tell you why this story is important. Michael's girlfriend? Who is now his wife? Her name is Jennie. If you read her blog (and you SO SHOULD!) you'll know who Michael is. And you might also know that she and I are friends.

After I posted the whiny bitch blog she and I went back and forth with My Space messages. I explained why I was being stupid and she accepted me. She accepted that he and I had a history and she actually told me that she was glad that he and I had so many memories and she would never take them away or replace them. I wish I could remember what I said to Jennie, but my memory fails me. I like to think that I apologized for being an ass, among other things.

After she and I talked, I realized that I was so happy for Michael. He had found someone that I thought was an amazing, loving woman. She was everything I could have hoped for him to have.
Jennie and I met for the first time a few weeks later to have dinner. I brought her some books and a cd to borrow. If I remember right, she gave me a necklace that she didn't wear. A woman after my own heart for sure! Dinner was a bit awkward, but pleasant. We shared stories and made our own memories. And it was awesome.

Since that first meeting, Jennie and I have gone on a road trip together to see Blue October in Austin. We've had many lunches and dinners together. She helped throw me a baby shower. I attended several of her and Mike's wedding events (although I couldn't make the actual wedding which I regret). We've watched movies and shared books with each other. We've become friends.

I didn't deserve to make a new friend. A wonderful friend at that. But Jennie's heart is so big and open that I didn't stand a chance that she would hate me. I am so thankful for writing those stupid, bitchy words on that blog back in 2005. It was a rocky start to what is now a wonderful friendship.

Jennie, I am so so grateful that Michael has you as his wife. I seriously could not have chosen anyone better. I'm lucky to call you a friend and I appreciate all the things you do and all the positive words and encouragement you provide me with. All who know you are better for it. I love you, darling and I hope you know this.

Open your mouth so I can insert my foot.

Some of my tax clients I've been seeing for several years. One of them, Betty*, came in today for her annual appointment. We chatted a bit and she caught me up on her life in the last year since I'd seen her last. She asked about my children and how work was going. Then she made a comment that made me falter a bit.


"So, it looks like you've gained some weight."


HEH?


COME AGAIN?


Did she JUST say that outloud? To me?

*Not her real name to protect her stupidity.

The newest way to irritate the snot outta me.

I know that many of you get those forwarded e-mails. I get them too, all the time. I forward a few here and there but I'm usually very selective about them. I don't forward overtly religious e-mails or ones that say I will die if I don't pass this along in 10 minutes. I check snopes.com every time I get an e-mail that says someone is going to take my kidneys and leave me in a tub of ice water. I don't mind getting forwards, some of them I find funny or interesting. The ones I don't like I delete them and go on with my day.



But, there's a new strain of forwards that are irritating me to no end. They find me wherever I am and taunt me. Recently I've been getting text message forwards on my cell phone. It's doubly irritating because I'm expecting a text message from a friend that says they miss me or were just thinking about me and wondering how I was doing. Or maybe they want to make plans to get together. So I pick up my cell phone, flip it open only to see something like this:


Psalm 27 : Say this slowly "God i love u & need u" Send to 10 ppl & A miracle will happen 2nite. Ignore and everything will go 2 hell

This is the exact text message I got last night. Now, let me say that the person who sent this is a fun and sweet guy. He's always lovely to hang out with and I consider him a friend. But I wanna smack him for costing me $.10 to get a text message like that. (Dude, seriously, if you read this, I'll buy you a beer or 7 to make up for trashing you.)


I never did forward that text message. In fact, I promptly deleted it and didn't even flinch. I guess it's good that I didn't care much, because apparently everything is going straight to hell.

Oh wind, why do you smite me?

Let's talk about the wind here. IT'S INSANE. I thought for sure that the roof of my office building was going to blow away. And it's a good thing I'm not skinny, I might have blown to Canada. But the worst part? My eyes. I look like a strung out crack whore who needs her next fix and a nap. They are so red and dry and itchy and GAH! it's bad.

And the other thing that's smiting me today? One of my cats. She has bladder stones with require surgery. Guess how much that's gonna cost. Go on. Guess. Did you guess yet? Because you probably guessed a feasible amount like $200 or even $400. Oh no. Let's go with $528. And that's the estimate and we all know what that means. Jack that shit up another $200 and that will likely be the price.

And another thing. Remember that I gave the secret to fab abs? It was by blowing your nose a lot. Yea, that sickness is still not gone. Just call me Snotty McSnoterson.

Here's what I got!

Since I KNOW you are dying to see what I got to go with my outfit that I'm wearing to a wedding today, I had to share pictures.

And I was going to oblige you all by taking some pictures and showing off the entire outfit. Because, honestly, I am so so proud of my slimmer self and my cute outfit. But then I realized my camera is lost. I haven't a clue where it is and I'm totally bummed about it. It was not a cheap camera and I have over 500 pictures on there I haven't even transferred to my computer. I'm sure I'll find it somewhere wonky, like the fridge or dirty clothes hamper.

I still really wanted to show off my look. So I whipped out my trusty cell phone and snapped a few pictures. I know the picture quality is totally crappy and not even CLOSE to this quality. But bear with me, because I have got to share with you, Internet.

Here are the lovely shoes I got. I decided I wanted gold toned heels but I couldn't find a shiny gold heel that didn't look I was trying to be a 2-bit-hooker. I admit I actually bought 3 pairs of heels so I could try them all on at home and decide. I love these, they have a gold shimmer to them and are super super comfy. The bow detail and the texture is what really sold me. I got them on sale at Kohl's for $41. Not bad.

And here you can see the SHINY in your face gold jewelry I went with. I know it's a lot of gold, but I'm flashy like that. For a less formal event I'd take the earrings out and wear only one gold chain. I got these at Kohl's also for around $40. I usually don't wear gold, but I think I might start. And I just have to make a retarded face when I take my own photo. Only because I feel like if I smile then I'll have the shit eating grin and that's just never a good grin to have.


Excuse the background in the photo. Being an accountant during this time of year means I have to work on the weekends. .

Anyways, what do you think? Did I get it right? I hope so, because the wedding is in less than 2 hours and I can't turn back now. Please say yes! Oh please!

This gadget is going to save my relationship.

I have cats. Three cats to be exact. Three cats equate to a lot of cat poop. A lot of cat poop equates to a lot of kitty litter. A lot of kitty litter equates to a lot of mess. Get it?



I have tried everything under the sun to contain the cat litter mess. The litter box has been moved all around the kitchen/dining room in an effort to quarantine the stray litter that gets out of the box. I've tried fancy litter boxes, one even has steps so the litter comes off the bottom of the cat's foot and get trapped in the box. I tried a litter trapping plastic carpet that the cats are supposed to step on. I tried all sorts of brands and textures of litter to see which makes the least mess. I've tried everything short of making the cats outdoor cats. Cat litter was ruining my kitchen floor and Eric's nerves.



His job became the cat litter when I was pregnant. And he still has the job because HELLO? I make your dinner almost every single night and wash your clothes and birthed your child. Isn't that enough? I think that worked fairly well to make him feel indebted to me.



But my relationship is suffering. And it's all because of cat litter. It's so tiny and irritating when it gets stuck to the bottom of your feet. I swear, I can see Eric's head about to pop when he takes the broom and dustpan out for the 8th time in one day. His sentences are incomprehensible when he's sweeping up the cat litter. Something like this, "MOTHERFUCKINGCATLITTERITSEVERYWHEREIHATECATSANDWISHTHEYWOULDALLDIEBASTARDS."


He's not really serious, promise, but I know he gets so frustrated.

Enter a shopping trip to Target.



As I mentioned before, I'm attending a wedding this weekend. It's one of Eric's friends that is getting married. Since they registered at Target and I love Target shopping trips, off I went. As I glanced at the items they registered for I noticed something that was in my price range.

Isn't it pretty? It's a Dirt Devil broom. It's a vacuum AND a broom! All in one! And it's red! SCORE! I was so excited when I saw this. I bought two on that shopping trip. One for a wedding gift and one for my own house.

Let me tell you, this gadget has saved my relationship. I can sweep the whole kitchen in less than a minute and not a trace of cat litter can be found. Eric doesn't call the cats bastards anymore which is great because I don't want Jackson to think it's ok to call animals bastards, even though it would be funny. Until he got into kindergarten. And I don't get the evil eye from Eric while he's sweeping up minuscule flecks of litter.

I strongly encourage any cat owners, who loathe litter all over the floor, to get one of these. They come in different colors, too. Silver and pink and I think even yellow. You will not be disappointed, I promise.

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You see what my life has been reduced to? Finding a cure for a cat litter problem. Sheesh.

How to get fab abs.

Do you wanna know the secret to fab abs? It's all the craze. At least here in my section of the universe it is.

Get sick. And blow your nose A LOT.

Seriously, it works. I must have abs of steel by now. So much so, that you can bounce a quarter, or even a large car, off of them.

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Did you hear about Whole Foods not using plastic bags anymore? I'm excited about this and think every single grocery store should stop using plastic bags. Instead, we should all use ones like this. I just got mine in the mail a few days ago and it's totally awesomely not plastic.

All you fashionistas, a little advice please...

This weekend I'm attending a wedding. Since I've lost some poundage but not enough to fit into my skinny clothes I had to buy some new wedding garb. See below what I purchased to wear:

The pants are a wool blend from Banana Republic. These are the exact pants except there is no cuff. Did you know cuffed pants make you look shorter? I'm only 5'4" to begin with so I certainly don't need to look any shorter. Because as much as I think midgets are cute, I don't want to be one.

The shirt is a Target special. Don't even ask me how many shirts I tried on. My boobs hate me. This shirt is a simple jersey material that I'm hoping to dress up some. I think the color is just lovely.

Here's where I'd like some advice. I don't know that I've ever owned a pair of camel color pants so I'm sort of at a loss on what accessories to wear. I have black heels, but that seems so, um, normal. I prefer to have a slight kick to my outfits. So, if you were wearing this outfit to a Saturday afternoon wedding and you wanted to jazz it up some, what accessories (shoes and jewelry) would you pick? Or maybe you think the whole outfit is hideous? To which I will reply - If you have a better idea, buy me clothes and ship them to me, because I'm not shopping anymore for this event. Unless it's for shoes and jewelry.

No seriously, thanks for the information.

Last night Eric and I went to see Elvis! I'm not a huge Elvis fan, but we had a blast hanging with some friends and I even ran into a few friends I hadn't seen in a while. Who knew the place to be last night was watching Kraig Parker swivel his hips?

Before the show we went to a swanky Mexican restaurant that made these tiny baby tacos that were almost too adorable to eat. Don't worry, I ate them anyways.

As the waiter placed our chips and salsa on the table my friend, Aimee, asked him the difference between the two salsas he given us. In the most serious manner, he pointed to the red salsa and said, "This one is red and (pointing to the green salsa) this one is green". Then he walked away and we all sat there. He was known as Captain Obvious for the evening.

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I weighed myself today and somehow (even after I ate those adorable baby tacos) I lost 3.2 pounds. I'm guessing it was all the swiveling of the hips that I did last night. This makes my grand total a little over 15 pounds. I am sooo patting myself on the back.

Three posts in one day! What is the world coming to?!

Listen up all you lovely bloggers out there in the blogosphere...

I have registered and paid for my full pass to BlogHer 2008 in San Francisco.

I am well aware that I am not a stellar blogger, I just do it for fun and to post pictures of my new shoe purchases. And I'm really just going to visit a city I've never been to before. And also to eat the free breakfast and lunch that's offered. And I might learn a thing or two.

Anyways.

I'm going! Are you??

Not that I needed new shoes, but whatever.

Yesterday was slooooooow at work. Unusually slow, but I'm sure that by next week I'll barely have time to wipe my own ass. Not that I wipe other people's asses, but that's neither here nor there.

To give myself something to do I ordered shoes online from Piperlime and Zappos. Hello, free shipping! I was in search of stylish flats. I do love a nice heeled shoe, but I only have 2 pairs of work appropriate flats so it was definitely time to upgrade the shoe wardrobe. Behold:

These just look like a weapon of some sort. I love the pointy toe and the metal hardware and the faux animal skin. You can't see it in this picture, but the small heel is a cutout in the shape of a heart. The color is black even though these look like they are slightly greenish.

I could have gotten these in 6 different colors, but I just had to have the pewter shade. The buckle detail is so sweet. These remind me of hardcore

ballerina slippers.

Who doesn't need yellow shoes? I've never owned any piece of clothing that was yellow because yellow makes my skin look all washed out and like I have SARS or something. But I figure you can't go wrong with yellow shoes. I think pairing them with some grey slacks and a shirt with some deep blue would look nice. Add a few gold chains and I'll be ready to go. I own this exact shoe in a kelly green and they are extremely comfortable. Did ya see the buckle? Apparently buckles are my thing lately.

I looked at these shoes about 8 times before I decided I liked them. At first glance they looked like old lady shoes. But the more I looked at them, the more I decided that I really did like them. They look retro, not old lady. At least that's what I keep telling myself. I think the button detail is adorable. And did you see the gorgeous deep red color? Divine.

God, the wonkiness of these pictures is enough to drive me nuts. I have yet to master posting photos in Blogger, obviously. You'd think it would be super simple, but no, it's as simple as calculus done with hieroglyphics.

Even if you don't have money to give, you can still help.

CLICK ME

Click the above link and watch the video. Do it. It's your chance to do not much of anything and yet help find a cure for Autism. Each time the video is viewed money is donated to Autism Speaks.

Autism is a mystery to me as it is with many people. I don't know anyone that is affected by this. But Eric does. He's a Board Certified Music Therapist and works with many Autistic children on a daily basis.

Please, do this for Eric and the children he works with.

Eat yer greens

There is one item at the grocery store that I get almost every single time I go. It's such a versatile item. It's green and comes either loose or packaged. You can also purchase it frozen and in a can. But I prefer the fresh variety.

Can you guess what it is?

It's spinach.

Oh spinach, how I love thee, let me count the ways....

I use you as salad greens. Topped with some carrots, grape tomatoes, salt, pepper and a little dressing. Delish.

I use you to get Derick to eat his greens by sneaking you into a large pot of spaghetti sauce. He doesn't even realize he's eating you.

I use you in pita's with some cooked chicken, salsa and some cheese for a healthy lunch.

I use you all steamed and chopped and mixed with some sweet fruit to sneak some greens into Jackson's diet.

I can even use you to blend into a fruit smoothie and drink you up.

I just love spinach.

What foods do you love that are versatile and what do you do with them?

SHIT! Shit times about 150 or so

I JUST accidentally marked the button on my Google Reader to 'mark all as read'. SHIT. I was slowly making my way through all the blogs I haven't caught up on and I had about 150 or so left to go. I was determined, DETERMINED I tell you, to read each and every one and comment on all of them. I've been foiled by my sketchy trigger finger.

SHIT.

Can't a woman catch a break?

I've been on Weight Watchers for a few months now. I've done really well considering the holidays and the large amounts of breads and sweets that have been calling my name and singing me sweet nothings in my ear. I had a glitch a few weeks ago and didn't do so hot. I only gained .02 lbs in 2 weeks, but I would have liked the scale to have gone down.

As of today I've lost 13.2 pounds. I've gone down 2 pants sizes and now have nothing to wear. And I refuse to spend a lot of money on clothes that hopefully will be to big on me in a month or two. The larger size clothes look just plain ridiculous on me. And the smaller clothes? They still mock me while hanging in the closet. I did manage to buy a plain black pair of dress pants that I've worn two days in a row. I know, I know, that's horrible. But I don't have any other pants! (Read: send money or gift cards for new pants.)

So, as I said earlier, I've been doing this diet for a few months now and I feel pretty good about losing double digits. I feel good that I can't wear my larger size jeans anymore. I feel good that a few people have noticed that I look thinner. I feel good that all my hard work is paying off. Finally, I'm making some progress.

As I'm plugging away Eric's been watching me do this diet. I cook almost every night of the week and lately it's been a slew of new recipes from the new Cooking Light Annual Recipes 2008 cookbook. (It's a fabulous book with some really awesome recipes.) Eric watches me measure the portions for myself and weigh food on my handy new kitchen scale. He started asking me how many points is this? And how many points is that? He was shocked when I told him that there was some obscene amount of points in some candy bar he had just finished eating. It was so many points that if I would have eaten it, I would have not been able to eat for approximately 8 years.

One day, about 2 weeks ago Eric decided that he wanted to lose a few pounds too. So I looked up how many points he needs per day (he gets 30 points versus my paltry 23) and he started writing everything down like I do. I was so proud of him and willing to do whatever I could to help him. I know losing weight is not easy. I made sure to tell him how much the portion size was for whatever I made. We looked up nutrition information online for restaurants he'd been to and I gently reminded him that lite beer is 2 points each and that if he had 7 beers, he might as well not eat dinner. He followed the diet to a 'T'. In fact, I now hate him and his dieting.

A few days ago he came into the living room where I was playing with Jackson on the floor. He said he thought something was wrong with our scale. I asked him why he thought that. He replied with, "Well, I lost 8 pounds". So I promptly run to the scale and weigh myself, careful to make sure he doesn't see the numbers because I'm an open book and all, and I like to share things, but not THAT much. The black line flashes a few times and I just know that when the number pops up that it will be the wrong number and all will be right with the world. Guess what happened?

That damn scale isn't broken. It's working perfectly fine. Eric lost 8 WHOLE FREAKING POUNDS IN A WEEK. What the hell. I work my ass off for MONTHS and all I get is MAYBE 1.5 pounds a week on average.

Yes, I'm aware that men lose weight faster than women and they have more muscle so they burn calories faster, and it's mostly water weight blah blah blah blah. But I wanna lose 8 pounds damn it. In one week.

Alright, I'll stop my whining and moaning. I cannot change it so I might as well just get over it.

And maybe add some extra butter to Eric's food next time.

The top 10 reasons a 30 year old should not go clubbing.

1. Clothing. I am nowhere even hip enough to pull of the clubbing outfits I used to wear back in my clubbing days. I simply cannot wear pointy toe, 3 inch stiletto's and get my groove on. Nor can I pull of skinny jeans. And my boobs will likely fall out for all the see if I wear those super low cut shirts.

2. Alcohol consumption required to dance. I don't normally need any alcohol to dance and shimmy, but I was so nervous to show my stuff off when there were skinny hot girls getting all jiggy with it.

3. Bright flashy neon lights. Every 4 seconds I found myself temporarily blinded by a larger than life flash IN MY EYE.

4. Men. I may not have been the hottest girl in the club, but there was a dude who keep dancing close to me and I was so afraid he'd come try to bump and grind on my leg. And then I would have been forced to say something like, "No thank you, I'm a mom of two and I'm not cool enough. Move along young man." What a horrible response, no? Lame, even.

5. Noise. I'm fully aware I went to a club and that it's supposed to be loud. But I could not hear myself think from all the bass pounding in my ear. It wasn't even music, really. Which leads me to...

6. Music. I am simply not in 'the know' when it comes to club music. Back when I used to frequent clubs I knew every song practically. The songs they played? Not so much.

7. Weather. When you go to clubs you don't bring jackets and purses with you. If you do, you have to worry about keeping track of it all. It's hard to dance while holding a warm jacket and a 12 pound purse. Trust me, I tried. There was no way in hell I was going to trek all the way across downtown Fort Worth in a short sleeve top and no jacket when it's 40 degrees outside. And I certainly couldn't leave my purse in the car. My mother might kill me, because that's just begging for someone to break into your car.

8. Sweat. Sweating is not pretty. I'm not an excessively profuse sweater, but I found myself dabbing at my forehead a few times and hoping that my makeup wasn't running all over my neck. It's hard to look all sexy while shimmying and dripping beads of sweat.

9. Aches and pains. Oh my. Ever fiber of my 30-year-old body hurts. My knees especially. I guess I can't groove all the way to the floor and work my way back up. My knees? They hate me. So does my back and thighs and calves. I suppose it was a good workout, though. But still.

10. Smell. Have you ever really smelled clubs? Hello? Stinky McStinkerson. Smoke combined with sweat combined with testosterone combined with the faint lingering stench of vomit : gross.

11. Here's a bonus reason: bathrooms! Hello, why do club owners think it's ok to only have 3 bathroom's for every single woman in the club? Don't they know we are drinking and dancing? 3 bathrooms isn't too bad. But when one stall is out of order and the other stall door gets stuck when you tried to exit it cause for lots of women doing the potty dance.

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You'd think I had a horrible time on my club adventure. But really I had a great time. I took me a while to warm up and get into the groove, but once I ignored everyone else (and had a shot or 3). I was a dancing fool. It was just like old times. I think I may even bust out my lifetime VIP status* at City Streets.

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*I frequented City Streets so often a few years ago that I got a VIP card that meant I could get in for free instead of paying the $20 to get in. I also had access to the VIP area. I just loved that place and the people that worked there. The DJ, Jeff, always played Prince's Pussy Control when I walked it. See, I used to be cool! I swear!

Confession and another HALP!

I have a confession to make. It's BIG. You will be shocked. And will cringe, most likely.

I LOATHE exercise.

Ok, so maybe it's not that bad of a confession. It would be worse if I confessed to not showering for 12 days straight. Which is not true, by the way. It's only been 7 days.

Anyhoo, I need some HALP! Or help, whichever you prefer.

I was thinking earlier today that I want to get some sort of exercise DVD to do at home. Then I thought about previous workout videos I've owned and they were in excess of 30 minutes. My time, and most importantly, my patience is limited so I do the video 2 or 3 times and then it collects dust until I donate it. So I came up with a brilliant idea! Better than doing nothing I was hoping that I could find 10-15 minute DVD's to workout too. I know it's not much and I know the recommended amount of time is more than that. But surely the health industry would agree that a few minutes of exercise is better than sitting on the couch watching Iron Chef America.

Here's where you come in. I need suggestions for short exercise DVD's. I'm not well versed on all the different sorts of exercises, really. I do know I'd like a yoga video (I love yoga and never do it anymore), maybe a Pilates video. Perhaps something to tone my backside. Maybe some upper body something-or-other. Maybe something I haven't even thought of.

Anyone have an suggestions? Do you own something that would fit the bill? Any help would be appreciated by my skinny jeans that are collecting dust in the closet.

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I'm only kidding about the not showering for 7 days. I can barely skip a day without getting hives and breaking out. Or least, that's what it feels like.

The Great Cake Endeavor of 2008

Jackson's first birthday is February 2. He'll be one WHOLE year old! I can't believe how fast the time has gone. I fully intend on waking up any day now and witness him walk out the door and off to college. (Hopefully a cheap college.)

I had a friend make the cutest invitations for me, last minute. I ordered a special birthday t-shirt for him and a special diaper for him to wear (we use cloth diapers). Everything has a Groundhogs theme. Get it? Because he was born on Groundhogs Day?? I know, I'm clever.

Well it turns out that you can't get a custom Groundhog cake at Target. I thought they had everything! And Duff from Ace of Cakes charges just a tad too much AND they don't deliver. When I say a tad too much, I mean the starting price is $500.

So, guess what? I'm making Jackson's birthday cake. A Groundhog cake, actually. Have I ever made a cake? Never. Am I excited? Hell yea.

I'm gonna need all the well wishes and positive thoughts you can muster for this endeavor. I'm so gonna need it.

Books!!

I just finished reading Philip Pullman's His Dark Materials. It was almost 1,000 pages of goodness.

Chances are I wouldn't have ever read the book, but I felt compelled to after a much debated topic on a message board I belong to. Several people on the message board were just appalled that this book was all about killing God and going against the church.

Hearing that and knowing the first book in this series, The Golden Compass, just came out as a movie, I just had to read it.

Not because I don't believe in God or want him obliterated. I just wanted to read it out of curiosity.

I'm glad I did. It was a descriptive and interesting book. There were different worlds and strange creatures and bravery and such detail that I just ate it all up. I highly recommend it.

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The next book I intend on reading is Upton Sinclair's Oil!. One of Jennie's friends recommended it and I always appreciate book recommendations. On my way home this evening, I stopped and picked it up at the Barnes & Noble. I read Sinclair's book, The Jungle a few years ago and really enjoyed it, so I think I will like Oil!, too.

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And just so you don't think I don't read cheesy girly books, I bought Sophie Kinsella's Shopaholic & Baby. This is the kind of book I'll totally read at home in the bathtub with bubbles up to my eyebrows and Michael Bolton playing on the CD player but I'll never NEVER take it into public. I'll save books like Beowulf to take in public with me just so I look all worldly and smart. (Seriously though, I never intend on reading Beowulf.)

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Lastly, I've been reading Elizabeth Gilbert's Eat, Pray, Love because Oprah said to, and I'm a good obedient girl. I have to say, I don't love it. I just KNEW I would because scores of women have found the strength to do amazing things after reading this book. It must be powerful, right? Maybe it's just me, but I just can't connect with the book. I find Gilbert's writing funny and entertaining but I just can't get into it. I'm about 3/4 of the way done, so maybe I will grown to connect with it. I hate to not finish a book, but I'm getting close to finishing this and setting it aside.

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Is it obvious I love love love love books? It totally should be.

HALP!

Please note: I am retarded when it comes to anything related to a computer. Except maybe turning it on and off. I can't manage simple things without much guidance and lots of yelling. Just ask my momma.

With that said, I am Blogger retarded. I can't manage to make an 'about me' page or show links to my favorite bloggers or tell everyone what books I'm reading or anything cool.

You Blogger experienced people, a little guidance please? Yelling is OK too. I don't mind, swear.

2008, here we come!

Dang, you can't see it, but my hat has this fun skull and cross bones on it. And I have a matching scarf! It was friggin cold last night. I'm sure not compared to North Dakota or, say, Alaska. But by Dallas standards, it was cold. Thank goodness for synthetic fibers that are woven into punky looking scarves and hats!

Don't mind Eric's eyes. You can totally tell he's knocked back a few. In fact, we went to Whataburger at 2:30 am and he kept asking me to order him a 'krifaffle'. I repeatedly told him there was no such menu item, but he was insistent that he 'WANTED A DAMN KRIFAFFLE, KRISTIE!". He got a taquito instead which he kept calling a 'taqwito'. He's mine ladies, back off.

And this is my favorite. Tearing up the dance floor, only the way my Gumbo can do it.

Happy New Year everyone! I hope it's a wonderful, sane, happy, memorable, lovely, enlightening, fun year for everyone.